Establishing boundaries while helping others learn to help themselves is a challenging endeavor at times. The process and the progress of recovery is not a smooth one. Many times, I reflect back and wonder: did assistance I received along the way help or hamper my journey?
There is a delicate balance between the two. Handouts kept me dependent on other people and most of those people had conditions or expectations on the handouts. In turn, I found people I could play the same game with – pity the poor souls that had even less than I did! Comes to mind at this point in my key pecking that the expectations went beyond the material stuff and into control measures. As noted in recovery texts, dependence on others removes the need to turn things over to a Higher Power…hhmm…
On the other hand, hand ups from people, angels or God saved many moments. A tank of gas when I really needed it & least expected it, a real bed when I had been sleeping on the floor- arriving when I was on bed rest following my miscarriage, food boxes and tips amounting to 2 cents more than my rent payment. These well-timed gifts restored or validated my faith that I was going in the right direction.
I ask Creator today to help me provide a true hand up over giving handouts – hold all expectations, please!
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